This is how God works with me.
I seek his face, my own expressionless, staring out the window
Smeared mascara, tears wiped away with a swipe of my wrist while doing dishes.
Heart sad, my spirit so discouraged.
My lack is in my face.
I go upstairs and gather my tools to enter into His presence.
Coffee, journal, blanket, fan, pen, books, phone…
A habit that carries me into the only thing that brings hope.
A holy habit.
I seek his face.
I draw close to him because he promises he will do the same.
“draw close to God and he will draw close to you” James 4:8
Sometimes I leave feeling empty even though I know I’m not,
for he is always with me and within me.
And sometimes I receive multiple kisses from the God I so love,
a feeling that overwhelms my broken heart
and it becomes fixed and full, and feels like it might burst.
I deep breathe and think about His presence in me,
fully known and fully loved
and I am full.
Today, it is because he has shown me so tangible his limitless G R A C E
Grace = unmerited favor
Abounding, limitless.
Grace.
I came empty, hollow and lacking, yet feeling like I am too much
I leave reminded that I am complete and in a safe ocean of grace, sinking deep
I can offer the same to others, even when I don’t want to
He becomes my why, my reason and motivation.
I watch a video on a favorite app and I feel God communicating
through poem and images of light.
Broken pieces start to mend as I watch it 3 times,
words jumping, straight-shooting right to my heart.
{PRESS PLAY, WATCH A MINUTE}
my days are full of possibilities
none more exhilarating than when I cross the threshold of GRACE
sky opens and space clears
a radiant landscape of belonging unfolds
and held circled by love I stand in sunlight and remember faithfulness
warmed and awakened I am
stilled by wonder
& breath deeply of this
subversive beauty
grace never loses its power
to startle
to wrongfoot
to scandalise
limitless and immeasurable
there are no strings
attached
Isn’t that so beautiful?
So what is GRACE?
God’s blessing even though we don’t deserve it.
A gift to the unworthy…of WHICH I AM THE MOST.
Grace –“beauty of form”
I am reminded of His name for me, given years ago
Shining One…I am because He is.
Grace abounds…yes, LIMITLESS.
His unmerited favor for me = My unmerited favor towards others.
I get up from my bed, to refill coffee, and I raise my hand to him.
Shaking my head in disbelief that the God of the Universe
cares to communicate with me.
I say aloud with hand lifted “Lord, you are so beautiful.”
That moment a song from my past pops in my head, another God kiss.
“Oh Lord, you are beautiful…your face is all I seek.
For when your eyes are on this child, your GRACE abounds to me.”
Of course, the word GRACE, for it abounds!
It goes on in my head, the second verse, I notice the word “light” and “fire”
and think about the images I just watched in the video.
The familiar image of an Edison lightbulb —
I just purchased one to place in a light fixture found on a fav marketplace of mine.
He knows me.
I see how it shines in the dark and it reminds of who I am,
and he who named me all those years ago.
God is so personal, he knows my name, and what I love.
SHINING ONE
I have not lately. Shined. (Shone?)
I feel the opposite of light.
So discouraged and dull.
In the darkroom. Stuck.
But then yes, the second verse
“Lord, please light the fire, that once burned bright and clear
Replace the lamp of my first love, that burned with holy fear”
And then, this version, one I have never heard goes on with these words
“I wanna take your word and shine it all around
First help me to just live it, Lord,
And when I’m doing well, help me never seek a crown
My reward is giving glory to you”
I’m reminded of my pastor exhorting and escorting us into the lightroom with his words:
“get in the lightroom. Stay in the lightroom.
Flee from the dark, especially dark thoughts.
Where there is light darkness cannot exist”
I ponder and I am amazed at God’s sweet connections with me.
He knows I need to hear that it is not a crown I seek
I am plugged into his presence and feel a flicker of hope.
Hope, for I am enveloped in the presence of his Holiness.
This is true Happiness.
Freely floating in an ocean of grace,
(here, minute 3:49) the sun on my face.
Heart safe.
This is how God works with me.
Is your heart discouraged? Distracted? Sad?
Do you feel stuck? Hurt?
I read this post, editing it a week or so later after I have found my light and joy once again.
I want you to know that there is hope.
The dark can be so lonely, and if you find yourself there now
Know this:
You. Are. So. Loved.
Seen.
There is an ocean of grace that is waiting for you.
Don’t stay in the dark.
Seek Him who is Light.
As this song says…we “don’t have time to maintain these regrets” when we think about how very much we are loved!
I cannot imagine walking through this life without knowing Love.
If you have not encountered His love, He wants you to!
The post Oceans of Grace When Discouraged, Depressed, Sad or Mad appeared first on New Nostalgia.
